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The beast has returned!

お早うございます
Or, perhaps I should just say, Good Morning!

The mood struck me today to write about something I have been avoiding for awhile. Perhaps out of shame, or not wanting to disappoint anyone. Or perhaps I just got sick of talking about it. But get ready, because the Hormone Beast has reared its ugly head so continue reading if you want to hear about it…

When I first came to Japan (wow—almost 6 months ago), I intended to fully dive back into Macrobiotics, as I had many key ingredients at my fingertips, for a fraction of what they cost in North America. At the same time, I was dealing with an ongoing hormonal problem of being off the pill for over a year, with no return of my cycle, and the increasing discomfort associated with it. The macrobiotic diet that had made me feel amazing suddenly seemed to backfire when I stopped taking the pill. And I felt awful all around. The doctor I saw before leaving insisted that I go back on the pill (a different one, not yasmin) --- at least until I returned to Canada and he could do more tests. I was very hesitant. I just spent a year off of it, and had been dead set on never going back to it after seeing the mess it created in my body. I tried healing with Chinese Medicine. I tried diet changes. I even tried some Iyengar yoga sequences created specifically to deal with my problems. The result of all of this? Nothing. No change.

After arriving here, and eating very macrobitiocally (brown rice, veggies, beans, seaweed galore!) for a month and a half, with still no hormonal relief, I finally had to deal with the situation at hand. I had read many not-so-good things about not having a cycle in so long, and was beginning to get a bit worried. This, the increasing frustration with my body, and lack of access to treatment with Chinese Medicine where I am living, led to my decision to go back on the pill (bow my head in shame). I reasoned that sometimes you have to choose an option you may not be happy about, because nothing else is better. I guess I had reached my limit.

The result? Well, after getting over my frustration about the situation and what I had to resort to, and dealing with all the hormonal crap of going back on the pill, I am happy to report that after being on it for over 5 months, I am finally feeling better. I think things are starting to even out. I am not happy that I resorted to fake hormones, but my body is definitely MUCH happier WITH hormones.

In fact, the change has been unreal. My hair has literally thickened tenfold. I am much happier / have a more positive disposition. But most importantly, I am now FINALLY able to see results eating in tune with macrobiotics. When my body was not producing hormones, it did not seem to matter WHAT, or how much I ate (whole grains, a brown rice fast, only veggies, more protein, a macrobiotic balance of all)—I would gain weight. Now, after returning to macrobiotic meals, I am noticing results right away. And one really unexpected one: I seem to be brimming full of positivity. After two weeks of eating very macrobiotic, I felt an awareness—for life, my practice, and on a small scale the universe—awaken within me. I know that sounds cheesy, but I don`t know how else to describe it!

The biggest lesson I have learned throughout this whole ordeal? Hormones run the show guys. Seriously. Without hormone balance, you are hooped. I fully encourage anyone to achieve hormonal balance through natural means. And I am determined to stop taking the pill, and restore my hormone balance naturally, when I return home and have access to the doctors/treatments I need. I want my body to create hormones on its own! Now, I believe in my heart, that macrobiotics can restore my hormone balance naturally. But maybe I just need some help with this? When I am finally back home (in a year and half), this is going to be my full-time mission. Until then, I am just happy my body has hormones.

Hrm…now how about something to lighten the mood? Have you guys ever watched inappropriate yoga guy? Check it out here. There are many more episodes out there if you so desire, as well.

Thanks for hearing me out! And next time, back to macrobiotics, yoga, and my life in Japan!